It was nice while it lasted...

Disclaimer: The views expressed in this blog post belong solely to the author (Laura), and are not necessarily those of all of Papa's Angels (though this post was written with their knowledge, help, and approval).

Also, this blog post will not be in Texan. I am currently boycotting Texan.

"Don't mess with Texas??" Bring it, Texas. It's on. You started it.

As soon as I arrived in Texas, a certain...fondness for this unique and quirky state began to grow in my heart. I was pleasantly amused by the Texan accents I heard surrounding me, I chortled every time I saw something that was far bigger than it needed to be (often saying to myself, "Only in Texas..."), I smiled when I saw one of the countless stars that adorn almost every building, and I even came to appreciate the presence of a longhorn, gun case, saloon doors, hunting cuckoo clock, and various other items of Texan home decor that are present in our home. My housemates and I went so far as to purchase matching pairs of Texas-shaped earrings at the State Fair of Texas (blog post on that coming soon!).

Then...

Strike 1:
TEXAS Rangers defeat Tampa Bay Rays in ALDS (baseball playoffs).
The Rays had just come back from an 0-2 deficit in the 5 game series, beating Texas, on the road, two games in a row. All was well. I thought that my relationship with Texas would be able to escape this unsavory ordeal unscathed. The Rays would win Game 5, go on to beat the Yankees and win the World Series, and my affection for Texas could continue to grow.
Then, in a matter of only three short hours, everything changed. Texas, by defeating the Rays 5-1 in the final game of the series, sent me a very clear message: "Giddyup! I'm fixin' to run you outta town!" I felt like a giant, Texas-sized, Texas edition pickup truck had run over my heart.

Strike 2:
Texas: "In yer face, Laura! We made you and yer Rays look like a one-legged man in a butt kickin' contest!"

(Preface: Before the Rays-Rangers series had ever begun, I went to the Texas Rangers' website and registered to win a chance to purchase tickets for one of the games here in Texas. I apparently was not a winner, and was never given the chance to purchase tickets.)

After Texas broke my heart and treated my affection with complete disdain, I received an email, informing me of the following: "Congratulations! You are a winner for the 2010 Texas Rangers World Series Ticket Opportunity. We are pleased to offer you the opportunity to purchase up to four tickets for one potential game of the World Series at Rangers Ballpark before they go on sale to the general public." ...Like I want to watch that go down, should the Rangers manage to get that far. I couldn't believe the way Texas was so blatantly adding insult to injury. Texas not only defeated my beloved Rays, but then felt the need to rub it in my face by offering me World Series tickets. I had done nothing but try to find the best in Texas, and now Texas was attacking me without any provocation.

Needless to say, Texas and I were not on very good terms after these incidents. Then, just as I began to wonder if reconciliation would ever be possible...

Strike 3:
My day at work had been extremely long. I had attended two very long meetings, barely had time to eat, and been at work for over 10 hours. I had to stop by H.E.B. (the grocery store) after work, and so I decided that it would be a good end to a tough day to go home and enjoy a nice cold beer. Texas, however, had other plans. I brought my nice cold six-pack of beer up to the register, and handed the cashier my ID. He looked at it for a second, and then, realizing that it was an out-of-state license, said he had to call the manager over. The manager then looked at my ID, and proceeded to tell me that because it was not a Texas license, I would not be able to purchase alcohol at H.E.B. The cashier suggested I go to Walmart. It was as if I was from another country. I could hear Texas saying to me, with a sneer, "You ain't from here, and you don't belong here!" I was forced to return home with all the stress from the day, no beer, and added anger at Texas for its harsh treatment of me over the past week.

Texas, all I have to say to you is, "YOU'RE OUT!!!!"
...
Maybe there will be a chance for reconciliation in the future...maybe. But for now, I am deeply hurt by Texas' heartless rejection.

Sincerely,
Laura

oh, and by the way...

we have a record player. you should all ask joe langenfeld about all the texas-sized stuff that is inside it.

Fall Comes to Texas

Y'all's leaves are changin'...Texas is not. Giddyup.