it's huntin' season.*

*In our livin’ room, that is.

Howdy, y’all! We’re here in Pearland in our livin’ room spendin’ some time in our community. We have been meanin’ to tell y’all about one of the first items upon which we laid our virgin eyes upon enterin’ our residence. These things of which we speak are giant shotguns.



Now, this was shockin’ to our virgin eyes because the three of us are workin’ for the Church in a real peaceful fashion, tryin’ to make change through nonviolent activities and lovin’ relationships. No need to shoot anything. We even count among our ranks one woman who studied peace for four years in her undergraduate education.

We have come to realize only this very evenin’ that there are not seven, not eight, but nine guns in the gun case. We mistakenly believed at first that there were a mere seven huntin’ rifles, none less than four feet in length. This very night, we have discovered that there dwells an additional revolver in the bottom of the gun case. Furthermore, along the eastern wall of the gun case dwells yet another huntin’ rifle.

Ladies and gentlemen, the fun stops not there. The gun case is home to other glorious
Texan items includin’ but not limited to, from right to left, a Texas-sized bourbon flask with a decorative paintin’ of ducks; a reel for a fishin’ rod; a baseball autographed by the one and only Nolan Ryan; some ammunition; and a turkey caller.**

Please consider yourself privy to all the known items that dwell in the gun case that dwells in our livin’ room that dwells right next to the country in a little town called Pearland, Texas. This gun case is no more than five feet from the longhorn, mind you. It contributes abundantly to the Texanicity of our house. And don’t let your heart be troubled. The gun case is all locked up. Giddyup.

**To the men of D-House: Heed our warnin’. We are fixin’ to find, hunt, keel, and eat a Texan sized turkey usin’ our authentic turkey caller. It even features separate sounds for male and female turkeys. Giddyup. Our Thanksgivin’ turkey is gonna make yours look like a one-legged man in a butt-kickin’ contest.

UPDATE:

There has been a series of new discoveries in the cabinets just below the gun case. The less interestin’ discoveries include an empty ammunition case, many full ammunition cases, some sand dollars, some dumbbells, and a machete. The more interestin’ discoveries include a small framed photograph of two young boys, one of whom is grinnin’ from ear to ear and holdin’ a harmonica while wearin’ overalls, in front of not seven, not eight, but nine dead rabbits. Hangin’ upside-down on a string in the foreground.

Furthermore, there is a very large photograph of four men holdin’ the very same rifles that dwell in our livin’ room. Behind them are eight bucks. Not dollars, but male deer. They are hangin’ right side up. Men: 8. Deer: 0. Giddyup.